Many autistic women in states like California and Tennessee spend years trying to understand why everyday life seems to require so much more effort for them than for everyone else. Many have been misdiagnosed or misunderstood along the way—told they are anxious, depressed, “too sensitive,” or simply struggling with things that other people seem to manage without thinking.

I’m a California-based therapist who specializes in working with autistic women, including women who were diagnosed later in life or who are still trying to determine whether autism might explain experiences that have never quite made sense.

Many of the women I work with across California and Tennessee describe years of masking—carefully studying social rules, forcing eye contact, rehearsing conversations, and suppressing sensory overwhelm in order to appear “fine.” Over time, that level of effort can become exhausting.

Therapy in this context is not about trying to make someone less autistic. It is about understanding how your nervous system actually works and building a life that respects those realities rather than constantly fighting them.